The Road I'm On
by xxArtemisxFowlxx
Summary: Draco and Astoria are both finding seperation from one another difficult during his sixth year. Songfic to 'The Road I'm On' by 3 Doors Down. Sequel to 'Truth'.
1. Part 1

This is a sequel to another one of my Draco Malfoy/Astoria Greengrass sonfics titled 'Truth', which can be found on my profile. Very special thanks to MidnightBlack07 for the review that inspired me to write this! :) This is one continuous songfic, but broken into 3 parts because of the length.

I suggest listening to this song (The Road I'm On by 3 Doors Down) while you read. It's an amazing song! :)

-Jackie

* * *

**The Road I'm On pt.1  
**Draco Malfoy Songfic (Sequel to _Truth_)  
'The Road I'm On' – 3 Doors Down

* * *

**She said life's a lot to think about sometimes  
When you're living in between the lines  
And all the stars they sparkle and shine everyday**

Astoria sat on the edge of her bed, arms clasped around her knees as a storm raged outside her window. It was nighttime, the stars hidden behind masses of dark swirling clouds that loomed over the castle. The other girls were asleep, their snores muffled in their pillows. Astoria was alone, in both body and heart.

Her fingers trailed softly up to her neck, gingerly touching the ring that hung from a chain there. It was Draco's family ring, which he'd worn ever since he was thirteen. It was all Astoria had of him in the dark confines of her room, and as close to his hand she'd get to holding until the war was over. Tears seeped into her eyes and she let them run freely, the resulting wet streaks illuminating her cheeks with every flash of lightning.

Astoria's nose was beginning to run, causing her sniffles to grow louder as the storm progressed. Slipping off her bed as quietly as possible, Astoria shuffled into the bathroom and tore off a few sheets of toilet paper to dab her eyes. She knew it was pointless to try sleeping again; whenever her eyelids closed she was back in the classroom once more, Draco's soft lips on her mouth. Heartache had woken her and now because of it she cried, knowing it would be years before she could ever have that sensation again.

Her feet nimbly made their way out of the dorm and into the hallway. No noise came from her as she crept down to the common room, her heart choking her. A small glow came from the slowly dying embers in the fireplace, a cold chill entering the atmosphere. Not a soul was in there; all the other students were usually asleep by two a.m.

From the far side of the common room there came the noise of the door creaking open. Astoria retreated farther into the shadows of the staircase, hoping to keep hidden. Her chest ached when she saw a tall boy come into sight, his blond hair faintly illuminated by the embers' soft glow. Draco walked into the light, his face drawn and desolate. A waxy pallor seeped across his face as he neared the fire, taking a seat on the leather couch.

He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, stressed hands running through his hair as he mumbled to himself miserably. Gone was the proud, austere Draco Malfoy that would sped his days lounging comfortably in the common room. Everything had changed.

Astoria observed all this from where she stood on the steps, ensconced in darkness. Her arms screamed to hold him and her lips urged to kiss him. Yet she stood in her place, completely motionless. It would only hurt both him and her more in the long run should she indulge now. Gripping the ring he had given her the other night, Astoria made a silent retreat back to her room.

* * *

**He said life's so hard to move in sometimes  
When it feels like I'm towin' the line  
And no one even cares to ask me why I feel this way, yeah**

Draco sat in the common room, his head buried morosely in his hands. Fingers disheveled his hair as he closed his eyes against his palms, and he could only envision Astoria running her hands through his hair, smooth lips pressed coolly against his like rose petals. His lips emitted a low groan as his lower abdomen throbbed. He was tempted to throw his head back and release his pent up frustration, but he held himself in place. Lifting his head from his hands, Draco wiped the tears that had formed in his eyes. His body was exasperated from the long hours spent in the Room of Hidden Things and it showed from the way his feet stumbled along the floor as he made his way up to his dorm.

It felt good to strip off his cloak and lay it across his trunk, his robes following suit. Once he was down to only his boxers, Draco slid into the cool silk sheets of his bed. He stretched his neck on his pillow, releasing stress. He thought of Astoria as he lay there, wondering what she would feel like entwined with him. He knew it was wrong considering they were unmarried and she only fourteen, but his mind played it out just the same. In the darkness, he felt his fingertips brush his skin.

* * *

When morning broke and the dark clouds faded to only a drizzle, Draco headed to the Great Hall. He knew he should have been making his way to the seventh floor, but he had to see Astoria. He had to know if she was handling it well.

Only a few dozen people were in the Great Hall that dreary morning, voices soft and tired. A mere eight people sat at the Slytherin table, none of whom Draco felt like talking to. Yet at the end of the table near the teachers' area sat Astoria alongside her sister Daphne. She looked worn, dark spots under her drawn eyes. Her expression was blank as Daphne talked, her fork moving food around halfheartedly on her plate. Draco knew he had to stop staring before he caught her attention, but his eyes wouldn't budge. Her head tilted upwards slightly and he quickly averted his gaze, moving to take a seat at the opposite end of the table. Only one other person was sitting down there, but she quickly folded the Daily Prophet she'd been reading and left when he sat.

Draco stared blankly across the table at a stone wall, not moving to put food on his plate. He watched Astoria from the corner of his eye and saw Daphne put a comforting arm around her. Part of him ached to see Astoria so downcast, yet a selfish part of him smiled, glad to know that she relied upon him and no other. His gut wrenched as the emotion took hold, battling with that part of him as guilt seeped into his conscious.

He pulled out of his reverie to look down the table, betrayal rising in him when he saw Zabini, Crabbe, Goyle, and Nott sitting away from him. Their heads were close together while they cast discreet glances at him as they talked. Draco scowled, glaring at the wall. Some friends he'd made during his six years at Hogwarts! They all saw the stress and worry creasing his face, yet not one made any move to comfort him. Only Astoria, but he'd forbidden her to.

Though the Great Hall was growing crowded, every seat close to Draco was vacant. People were afraid of him.

"_As the should be_," he mentally growled, a snarl twisting his lips, "_I'm a monster_." He angrily shoved away from the table, intentionally knocking into a few first years who'd been standing nearby, too scared to take the only vacant seats next to him.

They saw him as a monster.

* * *

Please **review **with **constructive** criticism :)

-Jackie


	2. Part 2

**The Road I'm On pt.2  
**Draco Malfoy Songfic (Sequel to _Truth_)  
'The Road I'm On' – 3 Doors Down

* * *

**And I know you feel helpless now and I know you feel alone  
That's the same road, the same road that I'm on **

Astoria sat at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall during breakfast, Daphne next to her. She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before and it showed under her eyes. Draco's ring hung limply around her neck, concealed under her robes, feeling the cold metal touch her collarbone. Her sister rattled gossip as she usually did, but Astoria barely paid her any attention, her fork pushing her breakfast around lazily.

A still form caught the corner of her eye and she looked up, seeing Draco motionless at the end of the table. Daphne looked as well and was surprised that he sat in the last few seats.

"Did you get into a fight?" she whispered, eyes glowing at the possibility of new drama.

"We broke up," muttered Astoria, yanking her gaze away from the forlorn sixteen year old.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Daphne said, putting an arm around her shoulders. "So did you leave him, or. . .?" Astoria shrugged off her arm and looked down at her plate.

"I don't want to talk about it," she mumbled, taking a sip of her pumpkin juice. In a way she hadn't lied to Daphne; both Draco and she had agreed to stop seeing each other for the time being. But she couldn't break the bond she shared with him; although it might have been easier to cope with than loving somebody she couldn't hold.

Zabini, Crabbe, Goyle, and Nott slowly meandered into the Great Hall, talking amongst each other. They walked right past Draco who sat alone at the end, staring at a wall, the friends acting as if he were invisible. Great pity welled inside Astoria and it was all she could do to keep from running to his side. Draco Malfoy, once one of the most popular Slytherins, now sat unaided and dejected at the end of the table, completely alone. No one came to sit by him, not a person stopped to talk to him, nothing. Instead he received slated and frightened looks from the students he had once considered friends. Finally with a disgusted scowl, he angrily marched away from the table and slipped out of the Great Hall. Astoria was worried about him, scared he might try to harm himself. Saying good-bye to Daphne, Astoria slung her bag over one shoulder and followed him.

* * *

He said life's a lot to think about sometimes  
When you keep it all between the lines  
Of everything I want and I want to find, one of these days

Astoria saw him begin up the grand staircase, cloak billowing behind him as he quickly walked. She crept silently behind him, praying he wouldn't turn around. He did not pause when he reached the first landing, continuing onto the next staircase.

Half-way up, however, he stopped and stood still. Astoria ducked beside a suit of armor, hoping he wouldn't see her. He quickly turned, cloak lashing behind him. With every passing moment Astoria's heart began to beat faster, afraid he would catch her.

Draco then abruptly turned back around and began climbing the stairs, but his pace was faster this time. Astoria waited a few seconds before following, trying to keep as quiet as possible. Her method worked well until they alighted upon the fifth floor. Her foot dragged a bit on the ground, a small squeak sounding. Once again Draco paused, giving Astoria just enough time to dive behind another suit of armor.

"Who's there?" he called out, head snapping to and fro eagerly. "Show yourself!" Astoria pressed into the stone wall as much as she could, holding her breath as to not make a sound. Draco rapidly spun on his heel, hurrying down a nearby corridor. Astoria slipped out from her hiding place and lightly ran on her toes in pursuit.

The bottom tip of Draco's billowing cape was all she glimpsed of him as he turned a corner, Astoria putting on an extra boost of speed to keep up. Yet when she rounded the corner she found herself in an empty corridor full of statues. Draco was nowhere to be seen and the vast hall gave Astoria a dreaded sense of vulnerability, her feet backing into a wall for safety. She now felt like the hunted.

Out of the silence her watched dinged to tell that it was time for class. She didn't want to let Draco slip off, but neither would it do any good to wander pointlessly around the castle for him all day. Praying he wouldn't do anything irrational, Astoria turned and left. Draco stepped out from the shadow of a large statue and watched her figure disappear.

"Astoria. . ."

* * *

Astoria sat in Charms, her fingers drumming impatiently on her desk as the last few minutes of class came to an end. She had lunch break next and she intended to use it to locate Draco. She'd already asked all of her friends if they had seen him on their way to class, but all said no. Even Pansy Parkinson couldn't recall seeing him.

Finally Professor Flitwick released them, and Astoria grabbed her bag and quickly headed into the hall. She hurried up to the fourth floor where she knew Draco had class. She didn't see him among the mass of other six year students, but didn't give up hope.

Instead she flew as fast as she could down the stairs that led to the Great Hall. Tons of students were filing in the doors, hungry stomachs waiting. Every blonde head in the crowd caught her attention, but none were Draco. She looked at the Slytherin table once she was inside, but he was still nowhere to be found. Downcast and fear starting to bloom inside her chest, Astoria decided to go back up to the corridor she'd last been in when he disappeared.

As she walked past the stone figures she heard noises behind one of the statues, but it turned out to only be a couple looking for privacy. Astoria scathingly eyed the way the boy slid his hand up the girl's thigh as they snogged and she wanted to smack him. Didn't boys kiss with decency anymore?

"_Kissing should be more than sucking face_," she thought, "_It should be meaningful_." The whole floor turned out to be empty except for them, so she headed to the next one and all the way to the seventh floor. At the end of one corridor she saw two girls talking.

"I'm so hungry," grumbled one who had her back to Astoria.

"I know! I wish he'd at least—" started the other before she screamed and dropped the large brass scales she'd been holding. Astoria winced as a loud ringing reverberated off the stone walls, her eardrums protesting.

"Astoria!" said one of the girls louder than needed, "What do you want?" Astoria had never seen either of them before, but thought it was as good a chance as any that they might know something.

"I'm looking for Draco Malfoy," she said as their faces fell, "Have you seen him?" Both the girls shook their heads vehemently, their weird behavior making Astoria more than ready to leave their presence.

"Well, ok, thank-you," she said awkwardly, "bye."

* * *

The rest of the day passed and Astoria still hadn't seen Draco since breakfast. In class she was unfocused, fingers constantly tapping nervously on her desk. After what seemed like years, classes were dismissed for the day and she headed down to the Great Hall for dinner. Her stomach was growling with gusto since she hadn't eaten all day.

At dinner, Astoria sat next to her sister and a few of her friends. Fear was still fresh in her mind when once again Draco was missing.

"_He's probably just working on whatever the Dark. . .whatever he needed to do for him. It's nothing_," she thought, but her fingers still kneaded restlessly at her robes underneath the table. A flash of blonde hair caught her attention near the doors. Her heart almost fell out of her chest in relief when she saw Draco Malfoy unharmed and alive. He glanced only briefly at her before settling at the end of the table once more. This time he ate, which helped ease Astoria's troubles more. Still, she desired to sit next to him.

Daphne told a joke she'd heard earlier in the day, and it cracked a much needed smile on Astoria's lips. More of her sister's friends joined in the humor and she found herself in a lighter mood, even smiling a bit. Soon Draco left the table and exited the Great Hall, but she didn't notice.

* * *

Please **review** :)


	3. Part 3

**The Road I'm On pt.3  
**Draco Malfoy Songfic (Sequel to _Truth_)  
'The Road I'm On' – 3 Doors Down

* * *

**But what you thought was real in life has somehow steered you wrong  
And now you just keep drivin' tryin' to find out where you belong **

Draco sat in the Great Hall picking at his food, mood sullen and frustrated. All the spare time he'd had that day had been put towards working on the Vanishing Cabinet, but he had gotten nowhere. The magic he had to weave was above and beyond his current mastery, so he had to find alternative routes he could perform; the whole operation was a mess. And he was behind schedule. The warnings were growing more urgent, the threats more sinister. It came to where skipping breakfast was a blessing; he could postpone having to read those messages.

If he'd have known the heavy burden that came with being a Death Eater, he wouldn't have idolized it all those years. He had been raised when the Dark Lord was supposedly dead. Supporting and proclaiming a fear you've never experienced is easy; coming face-to-face with it is a whole new level of terror altogether. Draco looked at his left arm, the wriggling tattoo just visible in the shadow of his robes. Chills raced along his spine.

"_There's always Astoria_," he thought, warmth spreading through his chest as he thought of the way she felt in his arms. He looked up, expecting to see her sitting forlorn and upset without him. Instead she was smiling and laughing with Daphne's friends. He knew he should have felt relieved to see her handling their separation well, but in its place he felt betrayal stab through his heart. No one needed Draco Malfoy. Not his friends, not Astoria Greengrass, nobody. Not even himself.

* * *

Draco walked to the Prefect's bathroom, an idea in mind that he didn't want to fully think about. When he entered the baths he was thankful they were empty; most people were still at dinner. He turned on the faucets to the large tub and began to undress while the water filled.

He entered the bath slowly when it was ready, chill bumps appearing all over his body. Soon he was up to his neck in the tepid water. Taking one last gulp of air, he submerged the rest of his body, air escaping in bubbles from his nose. Soon he ran out of breath and water began rushing into his nose, panic shooting off warnings in his head. He reflexively shot up to the surface for air, water sputtering from his mouth.

"I can't do this," he moaned, resting his head against the side of the bath, "I can't even take my own life." His left arm floated freely in the water, his Dark Mark clearly visible. "_He thinks he owns me_," thought Draco bitterly, "_I'll show him_." Once again he slid under the water, arms held above his head on the wall to keep him from floating upwards.

A vision of Astoria came to him under the water, memories of how they'd sat next to each other that stormy night two days ago, her lips pressed against his, and the whisper that they weren't impossible. His resolve broke as he engulfed water and he once again surfaced. He threw up a river of fluid from his lungs, nausea rising in his stomach. He rested his head against the side of the bath, breathing deeply.

* * *

And I know you feel helpless now and I know you feel alone  
That's the same road, the same road that I'm on

Almost half an hour had passed since dinner had begun, and Astoria was finally retiring to the common room. As she stepped into the entrance hall, someone whistled to get her attention. She turned to see Blaise Zabini catching up to her, Theodore Nott hanging behind.

"What do you want, Zabini?" she asked, in no particular mood for his games.

"Malfoy's been looking a little glum lately; did you finally break it off with him?" She didn't like his expression, but couldn't figure out what he was playing at.

"Yes. What's it matter to you?" she answered curtly, Blaise smirking and shaking his head.

"You always expect the worst from me, don't you Greengrass? I've got a right to know why my best mate's upset." Astoria could have screamed. Best mate? He only enjoyed manipulating people. "So just between you and me," he whispered and Astoria saw a sly grin spread across Nott's face, "how many times did you two do it?" Astoria's face dropped in shock while Zabini chuckled.

"I'm fourteen!" she shouted, "How dare you, you disgusting, perverted—"

"I'll take that to mean you're a virgin then? No wonder Draco looked so suicidal heading off to the Prefect's baths just now." Astoria wanted to smack the loony grin on his face, but instead she turned and began for the baths.

"Cough up, Nott; I told you Malfoy didn't have it in him," she heard Blaise say triumphantly as she climbed the staircases.

* * *

What you thought was real in life has somehow steered you wrong  
And now you just keep drivin' tryin' to find out where you belong

Astoria's feet flew underneath her as she ran to the Prefect's baths, hoping Zabini had just been joking when he said suicidal.

"_Of course he was_," piped in her logical side, "_He's Blaise Zabini_." Astoria kept running nonetheless, knowing she wouldn't rest until she at least checked on him.

The door to the baths was open, lucky for her because she didn't know the password. A stack of neatly folded clothes lay near the large bath, a wand and belt on top. That wasn't what caught her attention, however. Two white arms stuck out from the pool, gripping the sides.

A scream tore from Astoria's lips as she ran forward, jumping into the water feet first. Water clouded her vision for a few seconds when she landed, but soon she could see. She quickly grabbed him under the arms, jerking towards the surface. He gave way easily, arms floating limply at his side.

He did not come to when his face broke the surface. She tried to lift him out of the bath, but he was too heavy. She saw his wand lying close by and grabbed it off his clothes.

"_Levicorpus_!" She pointed the wand at his prone body, letting go as she magically raised him out of the water. The added weight of her drenched school robes made climbing out of the bath herself difficult, but she found the strength.

Water seeped from Draco's lips as he lie there, but he didn't stir. Panicking, Astoria laid her ear against his cold chest, straining her hearing for a beat. She could hear nothing.

* * *

**I know you feel helpless now and I know you feel alone  
That's the same road, the same road that I'm on**

Then. . .

_Thump-thump_.

Tears welled in her eyes as she began to shake him, her hand slapping his face to wake him up. Slowly his eyelids opened to reveal his pale grey eyes once again. Astoria choked on her tears, relief crashing about her as she wept. She simply stared at him while he put a wet hand on her cool cheek, cupping her face.

"Am I dead?" he asked softly, eyes looking over every feature of her face. She'd never seen him look so at peace.

"No," she whispered in reply, taking the hand on her cheek in her fingers. As if to confirm her statement, Draco suddenly choked, turning onto his side as water flowed from his mouth. His nausea then hit him full force and he puked, his stomach's contents mixing with the pool of water. Draco then groaned and rested his head on the floor, eyes closed.

Astoria waved his wand and cleared the mess, then grabbed a towel from a nearby stack. She dried him off as best she could; only then did she realize he was naked. Her cheeks burned slightly rosy in hue as she ran the towel over his legs, respecting his privacy as much as possible. When she was finished Draco stirred, lifting his head to look at her.

"Would you like your clothes?" Astoria asked, offering him what he'd folded earlier. He took them and she turned her back while he changed, waiting until she heard the snaps of his cloak being fastened. She turned to look at him, his wand in hand. She handed it over silently and he likewise received it.

Astoria stared at him blankly, words failing her as she tried to come up with the right combination. He was mute as well. Then,

"Why?"

It was a simple question, but Draco was silent for a long time.

"I. . .I was tired of being unwanted. I was annoyed with myself," he said quietly, "I was sick of being a monster."

"Don't call yourself that."

"Call me what?"  
"A monster."

Draco grimaced. "It's what I am."

"No, it's not!" Astoria said strongly. He pulled back his left robe sleeve and held up the Dark Mark.

"This is who I am, Astoria. It's what I've become," he growled softly. She shook her head, walking forward to take his arm.

"This is no more a part of you than anything else. You can't sum yourself up into one word, Draco. You're more than that. You're a Malfoy, a Slytherin, a seeker, a schoolboy, a human-being! And above all that, you're the man I love," she whispered at the end, fresh tears starting to roll down her cheeks. "You're not a monster."

"What do you know about love?" he queried softly, "You're only fourteen." Astoria looked him straight in the eyes.

"I know love is when you feel a sense of loyalty to a person, a promise you'll always be there for them. I know love is a certain bond you feel between yourself and another. I know that love is when you want to be with that person forever, to share the same road," another tear slipped down her cheek, "And I know I feel that way about you." Draco reached out and lifted his ring from under her sodden robes. He held the cool metal in his hand, its sapphire wet with water droplets. Astoria placed her hand atop his and held it, feeling connected to him once more.

Draco leaned down and gently nuzzled his lips against hers. They kissed tenderly, soft mouths caressing each other until Draco lifted.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled against her lips.

"I love you," she whispered in reply, "I'm not leaving your side; the Dark Lord be damned."

"He could kill you," Draco warned, but she did not cower.

"I'd rather die at your side than by another's. We walk the same road, Draco. I'm not going to abandon you like everyone else." Once again he pressed his lips against hers, his hands slipping around her back. Yet all too soon he pulled away once again.

"Astoria?"

"Yes?"  
"I love you."

* * *

So what did you think? Please **review** :)

One final sonfic is planned to round out my series of three Draco/Astoria fics, so stay tuned!

-Jackie


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